Your value in the world may be regarded as one of the most basic human concerns. Yes, a concern. We’re all concernful human beings and go about life with our attention on the things that matter the most to us. Bringing value to the world matters to most of us. You can call this a concern. It’s a concern because we have our attention on it, and we may assess that if we are not valuable, perhaps we’re not worthy. There are too many human concerns to talk about here, but one in particular I want to bring attention to. It constantly sits in the background of all human beings, and we rarely bring it into our immediate awareness because it’s place in our life, and the right to it, is assumed – perhaps an unspoken societal rule. It is; to be regarded as a legitimate human being.
Let’s put some context and meaning behind that. If I believe I’m treated with dignity, and what I care for and choose to do and be, is respected by other people, and I’m not a slave to other people, I believe they are also legitimising me and my worth. That’s one side of the coin. Our assessment of how others treat us.
Our history tells us what we like and don’t like about how we think we’ve been treated, but the bottom line is this; if I regard myself as a legitimate human being, and I refuse to be a slave to others physically and emotionally, I not only give myself permission to bring value to the world, but I stand strong, and with dignity in my right to claim being legitimate.
When I claim legitimacy I act consistently with my own standards of satisfaction for living. I will be true to myself, and I’ll more than likely seek something that I can be a part of, which brings value to the world. More so, than if I didn’t regard myself as legitimate. Bringing this to the attention of those who perhaps don’t assess themselves as legitimate matters a lot to me. Therefore I take actions to write about it.
You can see how this works. It is possible that our personal drivers which push us toward bringing value come from the very actions we’ve suffered in, and become indignant about. Unfair treatment of ourselves, other humans, communities and the environment drive change, even at the smallest level as long as we become indignant – in other words, we don’t accept what we’re observing. We don’t resign ourselves that things can’t be different.
Claim Your Right To Being Legitimate
But what gets in the way of claiming my right to be considered legitimate? 1. the assessment I make that I’m not considered legitimate by others and 2. when I skirt around the edges of personal change and growth. You see when you forget to consider yourself, you’re unlikely to bring about the change that’s needed for you to interact differently in your environment. Therefore you’re more likely to get exactly what you don’t want to get, rather than what you do want to get.
I personally need my ten fingers, ten toes and any other counting apparatus including an abacus and a calculator to count how many times I’ve: 1. avoided difficult conversations with others 2. avoided honest conversations with myself and 3. lived in a mood of resignation that things can’t change.
Change Comes From Within
Change has to come from within first. But I’m not talking about the sort of change that requires the commitment to becoming a Buddhist and meditating everyday. By all means do that if you value spirituality and inner calm, among other positive benefits. However, I’m talking about change in the everyday actions we take, like listening, having conversations and interacting in meaningful ways. I’m talking about being uncomfortable and being prepared to sit in the uncomfortableness. I’m talking about going one layer deeper than the avoidance many of us seem to be really good at. I’m putting my hand up for that one! There are still some situations where I avoid the uncomfortable conversation and by now you’re probably guessing this is part of my inner learning journey that I place importance on.
Yes, there have been moments and still are moments where this internal struggle holds me back. Admitting that has never been my strong point. Once I would have been too proud to admit I was struggling in those very basic human actions, like having a conversation, getting clarity, holding myself as legitimate and declaring I will live with dignity. So here I am being as authentic as I can be with you because there’s no need to give you a false impression that I’m anything but human.
Believe it or not, it starts here ..
When you learn to truly take care of your concerns, your world will change. Click the picture to get the FREE Explore Book
What Is Holding You Back?
Let’s skip to you. If something is holding you back, and and you have little or no direction, and perhaps you’re experiencing self doubt, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what matters most to you. Your self worth does not need to be measured by a yardstick that someone else set the standard for. You’re a worthy human being even if you don’t know it yet.
I’m going to be bold and say this – if you feel guilty for making certain decisions or heaven forbid for being yourself, don’t stop the guilt. Ask yourself where the guilt came from. If you feel ashamed for sabotaging your efforts, don’t push the shame aside. Learn from it. Who and what did you give permission to impose guilt and shame upon you? As an adult now, not a child who didn’t know better and didn’t have a choice but to give adults authority, you may find yourself answering this…”myself”. Get indignant, have the difficult conversations, take back your dignity and live the value you know you can bring to the world. It’s your basic human right.
Lastly, think about what there is for you to reflect and learn about before you sit silently blaming others without looking at how you’ve designed your own life to take care of the concerns that perhaps others once didn’t. Claim dignity now. No one else will.
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PS. my coaching practice is based around the value that all humans are legitimate. If you’re invested in finding out about my programs click here.
I wish the best of care for you this day and every day.
Do you have any questions? Comments? Insights? I’m here to listen! Let’s chat below.
P.S. I also have a Facebook page where I’d love to chat with you and answer your questions! Click here and like my page.